You May Just Be An Aspie…

I’ve been meaning to link the You Might be an Aspie If page for some time, holding back because I wanted to write an extensive post on the topic.  Aspie is, of course, shorthand for a person with some degree of Asperger’s Syndrome.

It’s an extremely long list and there are many silly entries.  Not just ones that make me say “I’d never thought of that angle,” but ones that seem completely surreal.

This is a fairly representative list that I can relate to and will give you an idea, if you don’t want to read the big list.  You may be an Aspie if…

...your boss says, “Do such and such”, and you can’t do it until you know “why”, because you are not going to waste your time on doing something that doesn’t make sense.

...you get extremely disappointed in yourself if you don’t know something when you need to know it because you really *SHOULD* know that.

...you choose the grocery aisle that you go down based on whether or not there are any other people in that aisle.

...the word “Hallmark” makes you think “When you care enough to send the very best”, and you can remember tons of those kinds of “ad” lines and you use them in everyday speech.

...if the thought, “there has to be a pattern to this” is a major theme of your life.

...if you think cataclysm is a really great word. Catamaran, catatonic, catalyst, Catalan, catalogue, catastrophe all great words, and they start with CAT, which is neat, too. Patagonia is a neat word, too. And sassafras.

...if you think an old fashioned egg beater is a very cool toy.

...your teacher commands every one in the room to pair-off to discuss a topic and you are extremely relieved that no one wants to be your partner.

...You find it extraordinarily annoying to hear someone say the same thing multiple times, but you do that same thing yourself, that is, say things multiple times. Did I tell you that I hate hearing other people say things multiple times, but that I do the very same thing? Multiple times?

…you almost go into a panic when you discover that a picture or other wall-mounted item is hanging 1° off perpendicular, and you feel compelled to straighten it out, even if it’s not in your own home.

…you not only line things up, you always line them up in a symmetrical arrangement.

...You’re friends with the church secretary, but can’t recognize her when you run into her in the store.

…you’re disappointed that the latest close-approaching meteor is not, after all, going to hit Earth because you’ve been fascinated by cataclysms and catastrophism ever since you first saw “When Worlds Collide” and it scared the bejeebers out of you, and you really want to see what a real cataclysm would be like.

...you forget to eat or drink for a few days because you are working on an interesting project.

...you constantly forget taking the trash out even if you walk past it all the time because it isn’t on your mental agenda of things to do.

..if you spend hours trying to figure out how someone could find a meaning in your words that was not there.

...your SO has to wait to use the computer because if you stop what you are working at you’ll never get it right later.

...you are asked to write a short report and it gets over 10 pages long because otherwise you’d not fit all the important details in.

...people come to you with all their problems because you are such a good listener, but their problems just make no sense to you.

....you sit around trying to decide what to work on today, and by the time you are done deciding the day is over.

...you understand a certain figure of speech because it was explained to you, but you still wonder what idiot could come up with something like that.

...you follow rules to the letter - but only if they make sense to you.

...you get all cleaned up and dressed for a party and just before you walk out the door you remember you hate parties so you switch on the computer, put on a t-shirt and get settled in for the night.

...You like defragging your hard drive so you can watch little blue squares lining up for a couple of hours.

...you have to ransack your entire residence a couple of times a week trying to find something you often need, and even though you usually don’t find what you’re looking for you find half a dozen useful other things you thought you’d lost, often even something you actively need that day.

...you get your front door key out and ready to insert in the lock while still a minute’s walk from your house.

...You reinforce the foundations and floors of your house to allow for the sheer tonnage of books you own and insist on keeping around for frequent re-readings, even though you remember everything in them.

...You shop for new clothes once a year or less and only retire old ones when they are no longer providing enough coverage to avoid indecent exposure charges.

...You play ‘Name That Bruise!’ in the bath, because you have no idea where you got them.

...You take apart computers or other electronics for fun.

...your hands are always covered in burns, cuts and scars, and the only ones you noticed getting are the really spectacular ones, but they never hurt anyway.

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