Low-fat diets not best for weight loss

But… but… whaddaya mean the lowest fat diet had the poorest results in a formal study? We all know that if you eat fat you’ll die! Die, I say. And if you are fat you will get diabetes and die. Die! If you lose weight, you will automatically recover and/or prevent yourselves from getting diabetes. Ever! Or blood pressure. Nobody thin ever had blood pressure, after all. And our kids, what are we thinking, not putting them all on statins before their nervous systems can even finish being constructed. Who needs an IQ! Surely not kids. Not in America. Statins in the water! Along with the ritalin. We should probably toss in beta blockers while we are at it, prevent kids from getting blood pressures in the first place. Because, you know, your blood pressure causes your arteries to harden and clog, and it makes you fat, and fat makes you have blood pressure, and fat in what you eat surely translates directly into fat stored in your ulterior regions without even being affected by digestion or metabolism or nutritional needs, going straight into the diabolestertensionheimers matrix and causing your brain, heart and nerves to explode and/or liquify and be expelled and be expelled in an almost ebola-driven manner,

So this study can’t be right, even if a high fat diet has been integral to my massive weight loss of late. That’s purely anecdotal. And studies? They can’t be right, unless they are funded with litigious intent and the more obscurely published the better. Then it’s data.